I seem to remember a naval manual for dealing with a shipwreck which read “Number 1. Do not get yourself into this situation” (or somesuch teeth-gnashingly self-righteous statement). Of course we should all look after ourselves because we are very important, both to ourselves and to those who rely on us. We should go to bed early, always have breakfast, drink lots of water, don’t drink too much alcohol, watch our fat and carbohydrate, take regular exercise and don’t get cross.
But no matter how hard we try, life has a nasty habit of sticking its grubby fingers up in a most un-gentlemanly way and we fall by the wayside. Coupled with that, what would life be without, wine, chocolate, Badger Beers, late nights, the odd scrap and the occasional Marlboro red?
The Wartime Housewife insists upon courtesy at all times, but the other day, when interrupted in the queue at The Pictures by a young woman asking if I wanted to enter a prize draw to win a week at a Butlin’s Holiday Camp, I am ashamed to report that, without drawing breath, I replied “Do You Know? I would rather sit in a bath of acid” and walked away. It was rude and unforgivable, but Do You Know, I felt just that tiny, tiny bit better? However, my swollen, suppurating eyes are clearly God’s way of telling me to count to ten.
In case any of my dear followers are in the same boat, here are a couple of home remedies for those who have fallen by the wayside.
Just for interest, the official name for a stye is a ‘hordeolum’, which sounds suspiciously like a bedding plant to me…
What you need
1 medium sized bowl
2 drops Lavender essential oil
2 drops Chamomile essential oil
1 clean flannel
Wash your hands very thoroughly.
Pour some boiling water into the bowl and leave it until it is hot enough to put your hands in.
Put in 2 drops of lavender and 2 drops of chamomile essential oil and stir well
Put the flannel into the water in readiness
If possible, find the eyelash sticking out of the pustule and try to pull it out
If you can’t do this, pull your eyelid out with one hand and apply pressure to the pustule with the other. The pus should come out quite easily.
Even if it doesn’t, wring out the flannel and immediately apply it to your closed eye
When the flannel has cooled, put it back in the hot water, wring it out and apply again
Keep doing this until the water has cooled. Put it in the fridge.
When the water is cold, wring out the flannel and apply it to your closed eye
Do this for about 10 minutes, then put the bowl back in the fridge.
After an hour, do it again
Keep repeating this process until you go to bed. EARLY.
My sties went completely within 36 hours.
GARGLE FOR A SORE THROAT
What you need:
1 small bottle or jam jar – very clean
3 tblspn cider vinegar
1 tblspn honey
3 drops ginger essential oil
5 drops lemon essential oil
2 drops thyme essential oil
Blend well and mix 1 (one) tablespoonful of the mixture into a tumbler of warm water and gargle energetically. Do not swallow.
Put the remaining mixture into the jam jar and seal tightly.
Repeat ever two hours
TROUBLE WAKING UP?
Put a few drops of grapefruit essential oil somewhere near your head ie. behind your ears or on your collar. Grapefruit is a brain stimulant and will help to get you going. Try sprinkling a few drops around the boardroom before a potentially dull meeting – it works wonders! It is also a powerful antiseptic. If you can’t get grapefruit, lemon oil is a reasonable substitute.
TROUBLE GOING TO SLEEP?
Have a warm bath into which you have added 10 drops of lavender and 5 drops of chamomile essential oil. Turn down the lights and soak.
Make a lovely mug of Ovaltine or Horlicks and sip it in bed whilst reading something light and unchallenging. This way, if you feel sleepy, you can simply snuggle down and nod off.
If you wake up in the night, don’t immediately start fretting about not being asleep. Get up, make yourself a warm drink, go to the loo, go back to bed and read or listen to the radio. Television is too stimulating and the programmes that are on in the middle of the night will probably encourage you to gamble, which will really give you something to worry about.
Herbal preparations such as Kalms and Natrasleep are unexpectedly effective.