If you have a note from your mother…

Now I believe that there’s a foopball tournament starting tonight; It’s only the 2nd XII teams and I don’t think they can be terribly important games, otherwise I would have seen supporters merchandise in the shops or heard something about it on the wireless. 

Nonetheless, Boy the Younger, who has developed an unhealthy interest in foopball, has insisted that I watch a game with him tonight.  I don’t know who’s playing – some ladies from South America and Crecy United I believe.  If any of the rest of you wish to watch it, and providing you have a note, I will let you off reading my blog tonight.

If you are NOT watching foopball, here are some foopball facts* :-

  • Nearly all boys like to play foopball
  • If there are no proper goalposts, one can use tin cans or jumpers
  • Boy the Younger plays foopball.  I suspect he may not be mine
  • King Edward III, King Richard II, King Henry IV and Queen Elizabeth I all passed laws forbidding men to play foopball
  • As would I
  • Some people call it Soccer, including the Americans
  • Players wear knickerbockers which are fastened below the knee.  Their long stockings are pulled up over the bottom of their knickerbockers. They also wear gaily coloured jerseys
  • There are many quarrels during matches and some players pretend to be injured in order to spend more leisure time enjoying their enormous salaries
  • In India, Pakistan and a number of other former colonies some of the players wear no boots.  Their feet are so hard and strong that men kick the ball with their bare feet.
  • Sometimes, foopball matches are shown on the television so that people who can afford satellite boxes can see the match as well
  • Every Saturday everyone in England plays the football pools.  The money from the sale of tickets means that the Government doesn’t have to fund community projects.
  • The Football Association is now so large it has more than a dozen clubs and the players earn more than a thousand pounds a second
  • Some ladies have now taken to playing football because of a regional paucity of embroidery silks

 *  All information taken from The Wartime Housewife Book of Football 1964

10 Comments

Filed under Family and Friends, Leisure, Outdoor Activities, Sport

10 responses to “If you have a note from your mother…

  1. I love the World Cup – I organise my evening shopping around games, so that I can go to the supermarket when it’s empty.

    It’s also quite good for getting really good seats in the cinema…

  2. Morag

    I’m getting quite worried. If men are apparently going to hog the remote control for the next month (yes, WH, really!!!), what will happen in 10 days’ time when Wimbledon starts?

    • wartimehousewife

      Sorry Morag, I’ve just slipped into a coma. I’ve been watching this wretched game for 32 minutes and nothing has happened except a load of blokes kicking a ball around. Not one of them has a scrap of mud on him and they keep getting into trouble for tripping each other up. What’s the point of it?

      • Morag

        I understand the coma thing, WH! I am extremely fortunate in being surrounded by males who have no interest in football at all.

        Yes, my father watches (and always insists on saying things on the phone like “Did you see the Stoke match last night?” – as if I have EVER watched a match on TV!), and I imagine my brother does. But my late husband wasn’t interested, my older son is not interested and my partner now loathes football with a passion. My younger son, the sporty one, may become interest in it soon, because he plays it at school. If so, he will be disinherited.

  3. Viscount Blandford

    Dear WTH, you neglected to mention the ancient custom of the Half-Time Break, where players can chat among themselves, grab tiffin, share a Woodbine and make faces at each other with quarters of orange peel filling their cheeky mouths. (This particular custom inspired an unfortunate episode in an American film called The Godfather. Sorry to say, the poor hero in that scene was not socially prepared for such a trick and it choked him!)

    • wartimehousewife

      Welcome VB – it is an honour to have you amongst us. I completely forgot about half time, but you have described it so succinctly that I have nothing to add. Well done. I trust the Viscountess thrives?

      • Viscount Blandford

        Thanks for the welcome. I felt it necessary to mention HT, since without it Footers would not be a Game of Two Halves. The Viscountess is well and making tea and cakes. We fully support your mission to nourish the minds of interwebbers everywhere.

  4. penny

    In Canada, where football is called soccer, you do not need a television or a wireless to keep track of world cup games. In Toronto we have this wonderful system where the ethnic neighbourhood that game winners come from fill their streets with cars blowing their horns and flying their flags. I moved out of the Italian and Portuguese neighbourhood during the last world cup and missed the Italian victory by 2 whole hours. What will be interesting is that Toronto is hosting the leaders of the G8 and G20 (the lets squeeze the poor b’s gang and let’s make sure they squeeze the really poor b’s not us gang) next week and the security zone conflicts with some of the traditional World Cup routes. P.S. make sure you don’t miss the $500,000 indoor lake that was built in the land that has most number of lakes in the world. Oh yea, Canada’s team lost years ago – so Go England!!!

    • wartimehousewife

      Hi Penny – the Toronto Approach sounds much better than our English thuggery! Still glad to have you rooting for us!

      They built a lake for G8 and G20? What sort of madness is that? I’m all for a bit of pomp and cirumstance but in our straightened times, how can they justify it?

  5. Pingback: World Cup Fever « Hooting Yard

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