I’m going to talk about something quite personal tonight of which I’m sure many of you have some experience either as teachers or parents.
Boy the Elder started at a local state secondary school in September. He was so excited about leaving Primary and getting his teeth into some proper learning and our visit to the Open Day had given us all great encouragement. He had left Primary School in good academic form and he was looking forward to meeting new friends, using the public bus and generally doing Big Boy Things.
Without going into the boring detail, from the moment he started he was subjected to low level bullying, teasing and unpleasant behaviour from some of the other children and he felt very lonely and let down. This was not helped by the fact that all his close friends had left to go to private schools so he had no allies. We have tried every strategy we can think of but nothing works, nothing changes.
At his first Parents’ Evening the teachers told me that he was doing extremely well, not quite so well in Maths (apparently still at national average though) and I was generally given a rosy picture of his progress. I asked his Maths teacher how I could support his learning at home and asked why, if he was not doing so well, he was never given any homework. I was told that he always finished his work in class and that home time should be devoted to hobbies and family time, not homework. I stared at him open-mouthed. Did he really think that children who regularly had homework didn’t have hobbies or playtime? He replied that my son would never get any homework from him.
Half way through his third term, the bullying has not stopped and his recent report was less than encouraging. It was still good, but his grades had dropped and I was not happy. I have been in touch with the school regularly regarding the behaviour of the other children but this time I needed to tackle the apparent change in his academic progress. I did not get a satisfactory response.
A couple of months ago I got in touch with a local fee paying grammar school who have an excellent reputation and more importantly, have some available bursaries. The next round of entrance exams was not until January 2011 which would mean that even if he passed, got a place and won a bursary, he wouldn’t be able to start until September 2011. That is a very long time for a 12-year old boy. A week ago, in desperation, I rang the school again and they invited me in for an interview. They were wonderfully understanding and encouraging and pointed out all the incumbent difficulties and hoops that we would have to jump through to get there, but, out of the blue, he invited to Boy the Elder to take the entrance exam. 10 days from the date of the meeting. After much discussion with The Father of My Children and advice from Sister the First, we decided to go for it.
And thank God I did. Putting aside the exam, the process of doing papers in English Comprehension, Verbal Reasoning and Mathematics has revealed the vast gaps in his knowledge, of which I had no idea because he never gets any bloody homework. I was astonished to discover that Boy the Elder, who will be 13 in September, could not do long multiplication, long division, percentages or areas and didn’t know his tables. He had no confidence in geometry or algebra, although he can do it, and pretty much has a cerebral powercut the moment he turns over the paper. Maths isn’t my strong point either and, although I can help with some things, my CSE from 1981 would need a palaeontologist to bring the information to the front of my brain, so, after a week of searching I managed to find a tutor. His first session is tomorrow morning. His exam is on Tuesday.
Even if he fails the exam, I will carry on with the test papers for the foreseeable future, both to get him up to an appropriate standard and to make sure that he stands an equal chance if we re-apply, or indeed if we try another school.
I am firm in the belief that parents have the right to educate their children how they see fit and in a way that is appropriate to their family and lifestyle. I also believe that state schools have a responsibility to provide the best education they can for the children in their care and to provide those children with an equal chance of competing in the working environment or in further education. Of course private schools are going to have the edge – if they don’t, a lot of people are paying an awful lot of money for nothing – but a bright child in the state system should be nurtured and supported with as much care as the less able who often get a high level of learning support. If they can’t provide this in the classroom, then the least they can do is to give the parents the opportunity to support the child’s learning at home.
I’m not interested in whether Boy the Elder’s maths corresponds to the national average. I only care about whether he is achieving his potential. If my children are going to be astrophysicists or film directors, that’s fantastic, but if they want to be plumbers or basket weavers, I would like to think that they would be the best and happiest plumbers and basket weavers they are capable of being.
Wish us luck
Wartime Housewife 
Blimey – I remember learning my times tables at about seven. Certainly before 12.
How extraordinary that he gets no maths homework. My boys get loads of the stuff (year 8 and 10). They also go to a comprehensive. You are absolutely right to be angry about this WH. A tutor should help enormously but the point is the school should be addressing your son’s needs. Best of luck.
Sue x
Thanks Sue. I will keep you all posted within the bounds of privacy and decency!
As you say WH many parents have probably similar experiences and if they haven’t experienced it, then the fear of their children being bullied and underachieving is probably a common anxiety. Nothing undermines a learning or creative environment quite like the bullying and intimidating behaviour of others. It’s absolutely toxic.
You say that you are ‘firm in the belief that parents have the right to educate their children how they see fit and in a way that is appropriate to their family and lifestyle.’ But the sort of individual choice you are proposing simply isn’t possible (although our illustrious leaders like to pretend that it is or at least make rhetorical reference to the notion).
Parents are not responsible for their children’s formal education and neither can they be. We hand our children over to social institutions that are either private or state financed. It’s a limited ‘choice’ restricted by geography and social class.
You are understandably delighted to have your child out of a poor school but what about the kids that have no other choice but to endure a failing educational regime, either because their parents don’t understand the system, or they don’t care, or they just don’t have a choice?
Is it fair that children should be held back by the disadvantageous circumstances they are born into, or because they lack an articulate and contentious parent like you who asserts their right to have their child educated in an appropriate way?
And if concerned parents can take their children out of the state system, who will speak out against the bad education suffer by other children?
Welcome Rabelais and thank you for your intelligent comments. I agree wholeheartedly that all children should have access to the same level of education but as a parent I have total responsibility to make sure that my children have the best opportunities that I can possibly give them and I have to set my personal politics to one side.
The matter of how we improve the state system is a difficult and contentious one and a lot of the problem lies with the constantly shifting teaching methods and the restraints of the national curriculum. There are some brilliant and inspirational teachers in the state system and there are some lazy spongers who see teaching as an alternative to a proper job. The difference is, that in the private sector, a bad teacher is held to account by management and parents alike, in the state system you have to virtually be a child abuser before you can lose your job.
I believe that I am am responsible for my childrens’ education and I am fortunate to be in a position to be able to fight for and access an alternative. My choices are still limited though because I have no money and spend most of my life on my knees with a metaphorical begging bowl. And let’s not forget, my son may not pass the entrance exam and I will then have to re-group.
It is undoubtedly unfair that some children are in schools where they are not taught the ethic or given the tools to succeed and I’m afraid that this disparity exists in every strata of society, in everything we do. I would suggest that politicians are the first line of defence and that we must hold them to account for how they oversee the running of our education system. We should be hammering on their doors demanding better teachers, better facilities and a fairer system. Interactive whiteboards are no substitute for knowing your tables or identifying parts of speech and we should be scrutinising with an electron microscope a system that is producing a nation of children with degrees in Hollyoaks and Competitive Make-Up from made up universities. But we won’t, because most people have fallen into a state of indolence and decadence which can only be broken by the kiss from a squared jawed prince/ss. Or perhaps a war.
Forgive me for butting in.
“Parents are not responsible for their children’s formal education and neither can they be.”
Actually they are.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/parents/schoolslearninganddevelopment/yourchildswelfareatschool/dg_066966
“The law requires parents to make sure their children receive a full-time education suitable to their needs.”
And, children should not be disadvantaged by a system that lets them down. Go back to the beginnings of full time education and you’ll see that almost all parents were illiterate, but it didn’t stop their children from either learning or wanting to learn – to better themselves.
Welcome Mrs Rigby. I agree with you entirely. Thanks for your comment and I look forward to hearing from you again.
Rabelais
Instead of pointing the finger at parents who get their children out of the State cesspit, why don’t you point it at the schools and the teachers instead?
Dear WTHW,
Shocking stuff, sadly we come across this all the time. In trying recently to establish an apprenticeship for a traditional craft we became entangled with the body that oversees such things. Now the craft in question had a tradition 7 years or 4 years plus day release for full training. The Educational standard being reached should be at BA level with our memory and concept of A level chemistry. Sadly the official body thought a year would do it! When we stopped laughing and said 3 years minimum they became indignant! When we insisted on good English skills, coordination and physical ability, we were branded as Fascists and recidivists. When it was pointed out to her a person in a wheelchair with one arm could not climb a ladder or possibly lift a 30kg marble statue on there own the fur flew!
Apparently we expected too much in education, apprenticeships are only people who have had ‘educational challenges’. The mention of time keeping being diligent, following a dress code also caused ructions.
So it would appear that unless you pay for an education that allows teachers to teach, rather than be constrained by the latest ‘government initiative’ your children are set up to fail.
I am old enough to remember the damage and chaos that ‘Pitman’ reading system caused to 4 years of students in the UK. Taught to read gobbledygook for four years then confronted with an examination paper in pure English.. chaos.
So keep up the tutoring, by the old fashioned maths charts and hang them up in his bedroom and of course the old fav of breakfast is always served in Latin!
You done good girl!
A&T
A&T: You want to talk to Freelance about performance in higher education. I think our generation was the last to benefit from the benefits of old fashioned teaching (not to say that all modern teaching is wrong by any means) but standards in personal behaviour, presentation and realistic concepts of achievement have fallen so far that I don’t think the state can reverse that. Therefore I have to inculcate the boys with these values myself. The buck ultimately stops with me.
PS
Since we postulated the idea, the word has spread via the jungle drums. We have had about 40 applicants with PhD level education asking for the opportunity, which totally goes against the point of taking a 17 year old and giving them chance of employment and sought after traditional skills. Many of these people have offered to do it for free, just for the opportunity, could the girls form the ministry understand that, no.
A&T
WH,
I admire your determination to take responsibility for your kid’s education. I have one kid in a primary school and another starting soon and for a time I thought about alternatives to the state primary school. I have very grave reservations about the the present system that treats children as little ‘economic units’ instead of human beings and can configure education only in terms of the competitive advantage that it might give you over others. In the end there were no available alternatives and wee Rab is attending the school around the corner. In the circumstances I kinda see it as my parental role to try to compensate for the inane and perfidious aspects of his education. Although to be fair it’s not all bad.
I have to confess that I lecture in one of the Hollyoaks-style courses that you indict – Media Studies. I’m not proud of it but actually there is a critical version of the discipline I’d be happy to defend, unfortunately I’m not sure my institution teaches that version anymore and my own implication in that cause me some discomfort.
We teach ‘skills’ and ’employability’. The ‘skills’ are quite useless and usual redundant within a few years as a consequence of the rapid development of technology that seems to de-skill even as it demands new skills of graduates. This, of course, is great for the university because it means that graduates keep coming back and paying to be ‘re-skilled’ and ‘up-skilled’.
I read A&T’s comments with interest. If I understand correctly they’ve been advised that it should take students no more than a year to acquire the sort of skills and expertise that develop over a working life. That’s just soooo like the contemporary education industry. Get ’em in, turn ’em round and spit ’em out the other end with a certificate stamped ‘industry ready graduate’.
Best Wishes,
Rab
Wow Rab, what an incredibly articulate summary of the current situation. You should write that into an essay and send it to The Spec or some similarly well written journal. Although I suppose being a media man you ought to know what you’re doing! Thank you for your comments and I really look forward to hearing more from you on other subjects.
Hi, I will not bore you with my anti-homework opinions, my views are coloured by attending a very left wing, progressive state school where teachers were called by their first name and we cadged cigarettes from them in the smokers coffee bar! Oh how I miss those days……….
I am, however, very concerned about your lovely Boy The Elder and how he must be feeling. I hope all will be sorted for you both in the very near future and wonder if you’ve considered Home Education? There is a thriving network of Home Educators and there are also cases of children accessing a formal school on a part-time basis. My partner ‘home edied’ his son for a while and had the support and social contact of a local network. I found this one //www.he-al.org.uk/ in my local area and I’m sure Google would reveal support groups in most areas of the UK. Just a thought.
Education. Excellent. My favourite ranting subject. Sit down, belt yourself in and wait for liftoff….
I’ll start with kyla40’s comments, because I actually home edded my boys for a year, and I think it could well be a good choice for your Boy the Elder, if it were possible for you.
Firstly, I am a grammatical and syntactical Nazi and make no apology for the fact. I believe it is home first and foremost where children learn how to speak, and school should be helping with the written details and concepts. Sadly, far too many people think a child should never be corrected, and this is always to the child’s detriment.
So I take my role as educator very seriously. On the other hand, the regime of the national curriculum is very poor, with some appalling fraction of our children leaving school at 16 basically illiterate and innumerate, even though they will have covered the Romans three times by the time they are 11.
This is what we did. The boys started in local (highly sought after) state schools. I had concerns that the schools were not focusing on what was needed for my two boys, and took them out for a year of home edding. I felt that we could do better.
Let me stress, we did not do any formal schooling. Instead, we visited places (including Europe) and talked about things and tried the odd science project. At the end of the year, my own patience had worn thin. One child loved being home edded, one did not like the lack of structure and Mummy was knackered.
Academically, neither of them suffered, even though a lot of the time was spent going swimming. It has rather reinforced my view that state education is really a giant form of crowd control rather than useful schooling.
So this time I sent them to private boarding school. They went to Windlesham House School near Worthing, and loved it. And Mummy got her life back.
DEFINITELY, if money is no object, prep school was the right place for them. They are not bounded by the national curriculum, they have lots of after-school activities (without all the ferrying around), the standards are high and the teachers are enthusiastic. Plus lots of sports. Also, there is a lot of stress on manners and appropriate behaviour.
My personal suggestion, if your situation allows, would be to give your son some time out from his current state school by home edding for a year. Let him build his confidence back up. He won’t suffer from a year out.
If you want to contact me privately on moragg@hotmail.co.uk, please feel free to do so.
Goodness, I’m glad I wrote this article, I nearly didn’t as I felt it was a bit close to home. The varied and intelligent comments I’ve received have been really interesting for me and, I hope, for the rest of you. It is clearly something everyone has strong feelings about. Excellent.
Morag: I’ll be in touch. Thanks.
Those illiterate and innumerate 16-year-olds must be the ones ending up on my journalism degree course…
I’m very sorry to hear it. Freelance. Shall I join your course?
We had a similar experience with a middle daughter who was bullied and then home schooled and an older daughter who was home schooled for a year and then went to college early. When they couldn’t guarantee my youngest daughter wouldn’t go down hill academically like the older two at that school then I knew it was time to find another school. I even considered a private school in the area. But managed to get her into a good public Catholic school and she is now at University.
Welcome Joanna – I’m so glad it all worked out for you and your girls. Well done!
Don’t worry too much. That description would almost exactly cover me at age 12. I got bullied too (who didn’t?), but I evolved a coping mechanism which involved being an unbearable shit to all my teachers and my parents too – so be grateful that you’ve not got that to deal with.
And in the end? In the end I went to Oxford University to read Politics, Philosophy and Economics (yes, even with a very low B grade in GCSE Maths).
The first two years of state high school are very, very rough for brighter-than-average kids. But the last 3 are a lot better, because people find their places and the idiots and bullies are gradually filtered out or to the bottom, and individuals find their equilibrium.
It’s not time to panic yet.
oh, and by the way, are you sure he’s not getting any homework? I used to tell my Dad I wasn’t getting any homework. But I was – i was just choosing not to bother doing it…
Welcome Paul and thank you for your comments, they’re most reassuring, but the school confirms that he really isn’t getting homework. I’m so glad it all worked out for you and I’m sure you’ve turned into a delightful young man!!
Oh dear, if the school isn’t giving him any homework that’s really, really not good.
Inexcusable, in fact.
And surely illegal? I can’t help but be convinced that our rather over-obsessed with targets and centralisation former government made it a constituent part of the national curriculum for students to be set X amount of homework a week.
I’d be very, very surprised if OfSted were ambivalent about this…
I certainly wish you the very best of luck with whatever decision you decide to make, and hope it works out well for you and your boys.
I do feel a little awkward about commenting much further because I’m unsure whether the school you’re talking about is the one my daughter my attends (in which case I must admit I’ve had a slightly different experience of it).
And I do think that, whatever decisions we make in these matters, they’re never entirely right or entirely wrong, and it is important not to feel too intense a sense of responsibility for the outcome.
Thanks BW, you’re absolutely right of course and I hope I’m being level headed about it. The Boy certainly is.
You did hint once before which school your daughter attends, and Boy the Elder is at the other one, so don’t worry!
Have you thought of homeschooling him until you can put him in a better school? Homeschooling does not have to take place continuously during regular school hours, so if you are doing things outside the home you could make him your apprentice! And he can always read on a lawn, in a car, on a couch, in a park….
When we home edded, the boy who loved it is the one who loves talking to adults and – especially – loves to read. So it gave him all the time he needed to get involved in the things which really interested him.
The first thing he did was taught himself how to play chess, using the Nintendo DS and also poker, the same way. He is now a very good chess player, but I haven’t yet heard any tales of him teaching poker to his cronies!
My four children were educated by a mixture of state and private as our fluctuating financial circumstances allowed with periods of home ed mixed in due to illness. I thought you might be amused/infuriated to know that when my daughter flunked a test at the local comp (6 years ago) she was told she had not failed, it was merely “a deferred success”.
Welcome Jo. Yes, infuriated would be right! How than they do this to our children? These people only became teachers because they had a sound educational background in the first place. They then abuse this gift with their lazy, liberal nonsense. Oh crikey, don’t set me off again. Do hope you keep reading and I look forward to future comments.
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